“I hope you find happiness, even if it’s not with me.”
Yeah. That’s never coming out of my mouth. Respectfully. I’m not sitting here wishing you an amazing, peaceful life with someone else. I’m not hoping your skin glows, your bank account thrives, and your new love story turns into a fairytale. Let’s be real, let’s be so fucking for real. I’m not even angry if you’ve moved on. I just hope mild inconveniences follow you around like a mosquito. Just enough to be unconventionally annoying. Like your charger only connecting slightly while you sleep so you wake up with 2% battery. Or your Wi-Fi cutting off at the worst possible moment. I hope your favourite meal starts tasting slightly off. Not bad enough to complain about. Just enough to know that something tastes off. And every time you are running late, every traffic light turns red. I hope your new “babe” is… mid. Not incredible. Not terrible. Just mid. I hope they never quite learn your food order. I hope they don’t get your jokes immediately so you have to explain them twice, an...