Unbothered

 You can’t keep pushing people away because you like looking detached, then act shocked when people eventually leave you alone.

Like, what did you expect was going to happen?

There’s this weird thing where people want to seem unbothered. People don’t want to call first. They don’t want to text first. They’ll neglect people. They’ll take hours to reply, post on their story and ignore messages, then act like it’s some sort of personality trait.

And fair enough, nobody has to be available 24/7.

But let’s be honest, sometimes it’s not even about being busy. Sometimes people just enjoy the feeling of being hard to reach. They like the feeling of knowing someone is waiting on them. They like being difficult for no absolute reason. They like seeming distant because it makes them feel like they’re above it all.

Cool. But then when life gets quiet…

The same people who kept ignoring messages start wondering why nobody checks in anymore. The same people who kept acting like they don’t need anyone start feeling some type of way about everyone. The attention they used to complain about suddenly feels missed.

Funny thing, that..

People love independence until they realise independence also means nobody owes you their time.

You can’t keep making people feel like they’re bothering you, then expect them to keep well, bothering you... Eventually people stop double texting. They stop asking if you’re good. They stop trying to drag conversation out of you. They stop inviting you places.

Not because they hate you. They just got tired.

A lot of people want the comfort of connection without the effort of maintaining it. They want people to care about them, but they don’t want to communicate properly. They want loyalty, but they act as if everyone is replaceable. They want to be understood, but they keep playing mind games.

That’s all long.

And I think people confuse self-sufficiency with emotional avoidance.

There’s nothing wrong with being comfortable on your own. I actually think it’s important. You shouldn’t need people around you every second just to feel alright. But there’s a difference between being fine alone and constantly pushing people away.

And I say this because I know sometimes I can come across like one of those people. I’m not someone who needs to be everywhere. I don’t force myself into every plan. I don’t need to speak to everyone every hour of the day. I can happily keep to myself.

But with my actual friends, I communicate. I make time. I reply.

Maybe not instantly all the time, Crimson Desert and work be having me in a chokehold, and sometimes I’m genuinely not free. But I don’t run game with them. I don’t make them feel like they’re begging for basic communication.

That’s the difference.

Being selective with your energy is not the same as treating everyone like they’re disposable. Because eventually people will take the hint. And when they do, you can’t start being upset about it. You taught them how to deal with you. You showed them distance, so they gave you distance.

And now what?

Now you’re sitting there calling everyone fake because they stopped fucking with your bullshit. But they didn’t stop out of nowhere. They stopped because being close to you started feeling like hard work.