After so many failed Relationships

You're the Problem.

You already know this. You've known it since relationship three. But you keep pretending there's some other explanation.

Bad timing. Wrong person. They had issues. You're just unlucky. The dating pool sucks.

Stop it.

You Know Exactly What You Do!

You know you get needy and suffocating. Or you know you go cold and distant. You know you pick fights over nothing. You know you keep choosing people who are unavailable.

You know this. You've done it multiple times. You can predict how it's going to end before you even start.

You know your trauma. You understand your triggers, maybe even gone to therapy.

And none of it has changed a single thing about how you act.

"They have issues" sounds better to you than "I'm exhausting to date." "No good people out there" sounds better to you than "I'm problematic."

You say you want a relationship but you're not actually ready for one. You want the feeling of being wanted. You want someone to choose you.

So, you keep it surface level. Or you pick people you know won't work out. Or you sabotage it.

It's not happening to you. You're making it happen.

You're scared of being alone. You're scared of wanting something and not getting it. You're scared of trying your hardest and still failing.

So, you don't try your hardest. You keep one foot out the door. You maintain plausible deniability. That way when it ends, you can tell yourself they were the problem.

But it costs you. Every single time.

You're going to do this again. Probably soon. You'll meet someone, feel that familiar spark, and convince yourself this time will be different. Because they seem different. Because you've learned so much. Because you really want it to work.

And then you'll do the exact same thing you always do. And you'll be shocked when you get the exact same result.

So, the question is: are you going to keep pretending the problem is everyone else?