Comparison is the thief of joy

"Just focus on yourself, don't compare yourself to anyone." We like to throw that around like it's some sort of universal truth. And I don't fully buy it anymore.

Because focusing on yourself only works if there's actually something there to focus on. If your page is blank, then "focusing on yourself" can easily turn into staring at nothing.

"Your time will come." Who told you that? No seriously, who told you? Because I need to have a word with them. Nobody sat down with the universe and got a confirm that good things are going to happen if you just stay patient and keep your head down. It sounds comforting, sure. But comforting and true aren't always the same thing.

Personally, I think there's value in looking at people who are ahead of you. Not to feel small, but to spark a little bit of urgency. Because chances are, someone your age, maybe with fewer advantages, figured something out sooner. They made moves you haven't made yet. And instead of that thinking you failed, it just proves that it’s possible.

Comparison itself isn't the thief of joy. It's just a tool. Use it to punish yourself and yeah, it'll upset you. But use it like a mirror and it becomes a brutally clarifying reflection. How did they get there? How do I get there? What are they doing consistently? What do I need to do consistently?

That kind of comparison isn't toxic.

At the same time, not everything comes down to effort. Some people do get better timing, access, connections, luck. If you ignore the context, you can end up grinding hard at something never meant for you.

And yes, Comparison can mess with your head if you think in a way that makes you feel like you're behind because someone else is further ahead. But you can deffo use other people's wins as proof that what you want exists. Proof that ordinary people sometimes pull off extraordinary things.

Also, life is also on strict timing. Opportunities close. Health declines. Energy and fitness changes. The idea that everything waits patiently until you feel ready is a nice thought, but reality isn't that forgiving.

So yeah, I think it's okay to look at someone who has what you want and let it sting a little. Not in a self-destructive way, just enough to make you move. Because sometimes being overly gentle with yourself keeps you stuck longer than you realise.

Focus on yourself, sure. But first, give yourself something real to focus on.