it's about you

At first, I didn’t think I was writing my blogs based on anyone. I’d just type whatever popped into my head, random thoughts, small frustrations, little observations, without really thinking about who might read it. But the more I wrote, the more I realised most of the things floating around in my head are stuff I notice in the people around me, just as much as random things I see during my day to days. It’s like my brain is constantly collecting these tiny moments, storing them somewhere, and then throwing them back at me when I’m staring at a blank page.

The reason I even started writing was because I often don’t know how to say what I think. If I went and told someone “I feel like our conversations are kind of underwhelming,” or “you never shout me but always expect me to shout you,” or even “based on our relationship, I don’t think you’re worth what you’re asking for,” it would spark an argument instantly. I’m not about going back and forth with anyone over something they weren’t ready to hear. Often I think things over a lot before I decide to speak, so when I do say something, it’s warranted. Writing gave me space to explore my thoughts properly, without having to explain myself or risk ending up in a situation just because someone didn’t see things the way I did.

Even when someone isn’t at the forefront of a post, they’ve probably done or said something that planted the thought in my head. A comment, a text, certain behaviours or attitudes. Those small moments stick with me, grow into ideas, and eventually find their way here.

So on that note, my posts really aren’t just random thoughts. They’re a way of showing how I feel, how I think about situations, and how I experience things. The little frustrations, the things that go unsaid, the stuff that sits in the background of everyday life. Even if no one ever reads it, writing lets me make sense of things. It’s just me thinking out loud, saying something someone might find upsetting without having to argue with them. And if they do happen to read it and relate, well… to tell you the truth, it’s most probably about you.