Fear

Relationships, man, they’re never as straightforward as people make them out to be. At first, it’s all light-hearted fun, vibing, laughing, keeping it casual. But as you go deeper, it starts to feel more real. You begin to open up, let someone in, and that’s when the doubts start creeping in. That voice in your head whispers, "Hold on. Don’t get too comfortable. This could all go south in a second."

You know that moment, right? When things start to get serious. You've been talking all day, spending time together, getting to know each other's quirks, but there’s still that voice in your head saying, “Don’t get too attached. Don’t let them in too much.” It’s this constant back and forth, wanting to be open, wanting to let them in, but also trying to protect yourself. Because let’s be real. You’ve been hurt before. You’ve had those times when everything seemed solid, and then, out of nowhere, it all falls apart. They pull away, go silent, or just vanish without explanation. You’ve felt that gut punch when someone tells you one thing, but their actions paint a completely different picture.

And then there’s that fear of being cheated on. That thought really messes with your head. Late nights out without you, secretive messages, suddenly guarding their phone. It’s not about being paranoid; it’s about experience. You’ve seen it before, maybe even gone through it yourself. Watching people you care about being cheated on, or perhaps, even having cheated yourself. It makes you wonder, "Why wouldn’t someone do the same to me?"

That’s the fear that lingers when you get close to someone. It’s not that they’re a bad person, it’s not even that you don’t trust them. It’s about not knowing what’s going on inside their head. You start to question whether you’re just a temporary part of their life, or if you’re the one they’ll walk away from when things get real. So, you hold back just a little. Not because you don’t want to give them everything, but because you’ve been let down before. You know what it feels like when someone’s all in one minute, then goes quiet or disappears the next.

It messes with your head, doesn’t it? You want to get close, but at the same time, you don’t want to push them away either. You're caught in that internal tug-of-war, wanting to trust them, to believe in them, but also terrified of being hurt again. It’s draining. Every little thing becomes a red flag, every small detail gets overthought. And that’s when the real question hits: Is it even worth it? Once trust is broken, rebuilding it isn’t easy, and deep down, you’re just trying to figure out if it’s worth the risk.

When you’ve been hurt, you start to see everything through a different lens. You get more guarded, more cautious. You begin holding parts of yourself back, even when you don’t want to. It’s like you’re scared to give them too much access to your heart, because what if they do the same thing? What if they take everything you’ve given them and just pull the rug out from under you? You start wondering if it’s easier to keep part of yourself locked away, just in case they’re not as real as they seem.

The worst part? The unanswered questions. You start questioning yourself. Was it me? Was I not enough? What if I’d done things differently? Maybe it would’ve turned out better. But the truth is, you can’t control how other people treat you. You can’t control whether they’ll be honest or disappear when things get tough. That’s the hardest thing about relationships. You open up, knowing it could all go wrong, but still deciding to take the chance. The problem is, when you’ve been hurt before, it’s hard to believe someone won’t do the same.

So, you pull back. You stop being fully yourself. You keep a piece of you hidden, just to protect your heart. It’s self-preservation. You’re trying to shield yourself, even if it means not being as real with the person you care about. It’s like you’re stuck between two places, wanting to get close, but holding yourself back just in case.

And that’s not how relationships should be, right? It shouldn’t feel like a constant game of playing it safe. But the fear is real. The fear of being hurt, betrayed, of giving your all to someone who’ll break your trust. And the hardest part? You can’t avoid it. You can’t control it. All you can do is hope the person you’re with shows up, stays real, and doesn’t let you down.