Honesty

People say they want honesty, but most of the time they don’t. What they really want is honesty that fits their narrative, honesty that feels safe, honesty that doesn’t make them question themselves. On paper, honesty sounds simple. Speak the truth and that’s it. But the truth hits differently depending on who’s listening, and most people aren’t ready for it.

We all like validation. We like it when someone points out the good in us, when someone agrees with what we think, when the truth lines up with our version of reality. But the moment you point out something that doesn’t fit, something that challenges what they’ve built in their head, suddenly honesty becomes criticism, it becomes “too much,” it becomes awkward. People don’t hate honesty itself, they hate the part that forces them to see something from a different perspective.

In friendships, in family, at work, in life overall. Someone asks for feedback, and when you give it, even gently, you see the walls go up. Maybe they twist your words, maybe they argue, maybe they just nod and move on from it. They’re not really ready. They want approval disguised as honesty, the reassurance, without the reflection.

It’s kind of funny really because being honest is simple in theory but very difficult in practice