Not exciting

You ever clock how something you used to love can just start feeling… boring? Like it didn’t happen overnight but suddenly you're sat there like, rah, I don’t even enjoy this anymore. It’s not that the thing itself changed, it’s the people that came with it. The way they move, the energy they bring, the pressure, the way they talk down on things or drain every bit of joy from it. And without even realising, you end up carrying something that was meant to carry you.

And it’s mad because there was a time you were excited to show up. Genuinely looking forward to it. You'd plan your day around it, hype it up in your head, maybe even lose sleep over it. But now it feels forced. You find yourself going quiet when you used to be loud, skipping parts that used to matter, giving excuses or just doing the bare minimum to get by.

And people notice the shift too. They’ll start asking why you don’t seem as into it. Why you don’t show up the same. But they won’t ask what part they played in it. They don’t see how their presence changed the vibe. How their opinions or actions chipped away at your excitement slowly.

Sometimes it’s the unspoken competition, or the constant comparisons, or that energy where everything starts to feel like work even when it’s supposed to be fun. Or maybe it’s just the fakeness of it all. People pretending, doing things for clout or validation, and you’re just there trying to stay grounded. 

And it’s jarring when your memories don’t match your current reality. When you’re chasing a feeling that doesn’t come back. When you try to recreate old moments and they just don’t hit the same. That’s when it sinks in. The excitement didn’t just fade. It got drained out of you. Bit by bit. Smile by fake smile. Conversation by shallow conversation. Until it was just a bad habit.

You sit there thinking, is it me? Am I the problem? But deep down you know the truth. You just don’t connect with it anymore. Not the way you used to. It’s like being at a motive with the music loud, lights flashing, people laughing, but inside your head, you just want to be at home.

And you know what’s worse? Wanting to feel excited and not being able to. Missing the high without knowing how to get it back. Watching others still love it while you feel numb. That’s when it really hits.

It’s hard to admit when something you once loved just doesn’t feel good anymore. But it’s even harder to keep forcing it when your heart’s not in it.