Awkward

You know that feeling when you bump into someone you used to be cool with? The awkwardness. One minute, everything’s cool, and the next, you’re overthinking every little thing, do you say hi, do you pretend not to see them, or just awkwardly smile? It’s like you can’t figure out how to act normal.

Recently I saw someone I used to be close with. We were at a mutual friend’s birthday party, and as soon as we made eye contact, it was as if the air in the venue vanished. Suddenly, every movement felt calculated, where do I stand, who do I talk to, am I doing too much? It’s such a weird shift, going from being so close to someone to barely knowing how to interact with them.

The thing is, when you’re cool with someone, you build this little world together. All the inside jokes, the routines, the texts and calls. It all becomes second nature. But when it ends, all that familiarity turns into this strange tension. You see them, and it’s like, "Oh yeah, we used to speak all the time, and now awks."

What do you say? How do you act? Should you be friendly, should you ignore them or should you keep it short and sweet? You don’t want to seem cold, but you also don’t want to give off the wrong impression. Honestly, it’s frustrating.

But you know what? It’s okay to acknowledge that things feel off, at least to yourself. You don’t have to force anything or make it a big deal. 

With time the tension fades, and you both figure out a new way to co-exist in the same space. Maybe you’ll get to a point where you can be friends again, or maybe you’ll just become distant acquaintances and that’s fine too. Life keeps moving forward, and so should you.

So yeah, seeing someone you used to speak to is always going to feel a bit awkward at first. But eventually, it just becomes another part of your life. Who knows, you might even laugh about how weird that moment was in the not so distant future.