Change yourself first

“You can’t change someone who doesn’t see the wrong in their actions”? If they can’t even admit they’re in the wrong, how’s anything going to change? But here’s something I personally find funny, most of the time, the people saying this don’t even realise they’re doing the exact same thing. They’re just as blind to their own actions as the person they’re talking about.

I’ve been there. It’s easy to point the finger at someone else, making them the villain of your story because you are only capable of seeing their flaws, but when was the last time you took a good hard look at yourself? How often do we brush off our own slip-ups because it’s easier than taking responsibility? I’ve done it. You’ve probably done it too. It’s like a reflex to justify our actions and bury our guilt in order to move on.

Here’s the reality, if we want people to change, we’ve got to stop acting like we’re perfect. It’s mad how easy it is to sit there and criticise someone else for their mistakes, while we’re sitting on a pile of our own shit. "But you do it too," and that sting you feel when you get called out. The truth hurts, doesn’t it? The fact is, we all do it, making excuses, ignoring our flaws, acting like we’ve got it all together. But no one’s got it together. Not really.

So, if you’re serious about change, whether it’s in yourself or in others, it starts with a reality check, stop being a hypocrite. Own your mistakes. Accept that you mess up. Don’t waste your time expecting someone else to take responsibility if you’re not doing the same. Self-awareness is key, but most people are too busy being defensive to ever get there.

If you can’t even admit when you’re wrong, how can you expect someone else to do it? It’s like asking someone to clean their room when your place looks like a scrapyard. You’re not fooling anyone, just yourself. But when you stop pretending, when you get real about your own flaws, that’s when things start shifting. You’ll find yourself a little less annoyed at other people’s mistakes, and a little more understanding. Change isn’t about forcing someone else to see what’s right. It’s about making sure you see it yourself.

In the end, you can’t change anyone who doesn’t see their wrongs, but you can change yourself and how you handle those very situations.