Patterns

My mind’s constantly picking up on the little things, the subtle shifts in behaviour, the stuff most people don’t even think I would notice. It’s just how I process things. 

There was a time when I was all in. I gave it my everything, full commitment, 100%. I believed in the potential, the possibility that something real could come out of it. But then, little by little, those patterns started showing up, and they aren’t the kind I can ignore. They’re the kind of things that make me pause and think twice about where I’m heading.

It’s not that I’m trying to avoid pain I know it’s coming whether I like it to or not. What I’m really trying to dodge is looking stupid. I don’t want to end up stuck in a situation I saw coming because I was too caught up in hope or optimism to read the signs.

So, if I seem indifferent, it’s not because I’m doing it without reason. Nah, it’s just me protecting myself. I’ve learned that sometimes, the best move is to take a step back and rethink things, instead of diving in blindly, ignoring the signs and regretting it later.

This isn’t about avoiding the challenges in life. It’s about noticing when something’s off, when people’s actions don’t match their words, when what’s happening doesn’t align properly. It’s about trusting my instinct and understanding that sometimes, pulling away is the best way to keep my dignity intact.

That being said, you can’t walk around with your guard up all the time, or you’ll miss out. It’s about being smart and staying open to the right opportunities, the right people and if that means acting indifferent to protect my peace then so be it.