Perception

Life’s funny sometimes. Two people can be in the same situation, hearing the same words, but walking away with completely different feelings. It’s not always about what’s said or done, it’s about how it’s received. And that comes down to how people see things, which is usually shaped by what they’ve been through, what they believe, how they feel, or what kind of day they’re having.

Like, I could go quiet to clear my head, not because I’m upset, but just because I need space. But someone else might take that silence as me backing off or not caring. They might sit there wondering what they did wrong, while I’m just trying to breathe. On the flip side, someone checking in on me constantly might think they’re showing love, but to me, it might feel like pressure. Like I can’t just handle things without being watched.

 A lot of us move through life thinking our way of doing things is the right way. But what feels like care to me might feel like control to someone else. What I see as being organised or getting things done might feel like too much to someone who processes things slower. It’s not always a clash, sometimes it’s just a mismatch.

Advice is a big one too. People love to give it, thinking they’re helping, but sometimes it just makes you feel like they don’t think you’ve got it under control. It’s not always about the words, it’s how it lands. You might just want someone to sit with you and feel the moment, not throw you a list of things to do. Sometimes, listening is the most helpful thing you can do. No solutions, no fixes. Just be there.

Even things like giving gifts or offering help can get messy. I’ve seen it happen. One person thinks they’re being sweet, but the other starts feeling like it’s a transaction or like they’re being guilt-tripped. That gap between intention and impact can really change how something is experienced. 

Praise can feel weird too. I might say something nice and genuinely mean it, but depending on the other person’s headspace, they might not believe me. They might think I’m being fake or trying to soften a blow. Same goes for criticism. You might say something small, thinking it’s helpful, but it hits the other person like an attack because of past stuff you don’t even know about.

Perception is wild like that. You could be trying your best, moving with love, but if the person on the other end doesn’t feel safe or ready to receive it, it can flip completely. And the frustrating part is, no one’s really wrong. It’s just different views from different angles.

I think as I’ve got older, I’ve realised a lot of the tension between people isn’t about big arguments or fallouts. It’s just mismatched expectations. Different definitions of what care looks like. What space feels like. What love, respect, trust, support actually mean. And it’s not always deep, sometimes it’s just two people trying to be there for each other but speaking totally different emotional languages.

So now, I try not to jump to conclusions. If someone reacts differently than I expected, I remind myself they’re not me. They don’t see the world through my eyes. And that’s alright. What matters is whether we’re willing to understand each other instead of assuming the worst. You don’t always need to agree, but just knowing there’s another side to the story can change how you move.