Intentional

Do things intentionally so that you don’t end up feeling some type of way when things don’t go the way you wished.

A lot of the time, it’s not the situation that leaves people feeling used or regretful. It’s that deep down, they knew they didn’t really want to do it in the first place. They just went along with it to please someone or to avoid missing out.

Let’s say you’re interested in someone and start talking. You decide to take them out, plan a date, link up, and get to know each other. A few days later, you realise it’s not really for you. Minor things happen, but it’s calm. You move on.

Now imagine the same situation, but this time she’s saying she wants to go to a Michelin star restaurant, luxury preserved roses, and even wants you to send her money for her upkeep so she can look her best, the whole experience. It’s not really what you want to do, but you go along with it because, well, you want to see her. After the date, you realise she’s not for you, and now you feel some type of way. Not because she did anything wrong, but because you compromised your own intentions.

It’s the same for women too. Let’s say you’ve been seeing a guy, you feel comfortable with him, and you decide you’re finally going to do the do. You were ready, it felt right in the moment, and even if things don’t work out after, you don’t hold resentment because it was a choice you made.

Now imagine this. You’ve been hanging out with a guy who’s always suggesting it. You’re not ready, but when he suddenly stops talking to you, it gets in your head. You liked him, so you hit him up, tell him you’re ready, and you end up doing it. But afterwards, there’s this slight feeling of regret. Not because of the sex, but because deep down, it wasn’t what you really wanted at the time.

And that’s where bitterness comes from when you go against how you feel for someone else’s approval.

Moving with intention means being clear with yourself. When you know why you’re doing something, even if it doesn’t work out, you can walk away with peace of mind.

“Might have not worked out, but fuck it, I had fun.”

That’s the part most people miss. They blame the other person, the situation, or the timing, when really, the issue started with them saying yes to something they were never fully committed to.

So before you do certain things, ask yourself, am I doing this because I want to, or because I want other  people’s approval. 

Remember, it’s okay to disagree with things. And if it doesn’t work out after that first disagreement, nine times out of ten, it was never going to work out anyway.